Emotional intelligence might still be a highly underrated and yet the most important set of skills and character traits.

EQ stands for emotional quotient. Opposite to “classic” intelligence, emotional talents are not related to mathematics or physics. It describes the ability to deal with our own emotions and the emotions of others. Goethe called it: “development of the heart.”

People with a high EQ are able to assess and influence their own emotions as well as the emotions of others.

In line with this, they are often successful in their jobs, even though they might possess limited professional qualifications. They are able to form and nurture positive relationships better than people with a low EQ.

Emotional talent is a huge advantage for anyone in a leadership role and especially everywhere where diplomacy and the ability to communicate with people is needed (for instance: negotiations, employee management).

How to identify people with a high EQ

Have a look at your professional and personal environment. Do the characteristics listed below apply to someone you know—or even yourself? If so, it is safe to assume that these people have a high EQ.

People with a high EQ…

1. Have a realistic self-image

They understand their needs, emotions, motives, and goals. They are self-aware and know their skills, strengths, weaknesses, and emotions.

They neither under- nor overestimate themselves.

2. Can control their emotions
They are good at influencing their mood and emotions and are in control of both. That strength comes to play when they are angry or do not want to show that they are disappointed.

The ability to self-regulate (react appropriately) is helpful in a professional and personal environment.

3. Can motivate themselves

People with a high EQ are able to self-motivate and develop passion. The ability to motivate yourself is especially helpful in difficult situations and when they don’t go according to plan.

Also, emotionally intelligent people have a higher frustration tolerance.

4. Are empathic

It is easy for them to understand the emotions and point of views of others. They accept different opinions even if they disagree. In addition to that, they can motivate and comfort people and make them feel good about themselves.

Empathy is considered a leadership skill. Empathic managers are able to understand and therefore motivate people better than those without empathy.

Empathy must not be mistaken for compassion (see: 5 common misconceptions about empathy).

5. They are socially able
Emotionally intelligent people can easily create connection. They are able to nurture and maintain relationships.

Emotionally skilled people are good at conflict- and relationship management. Generally, they are able to keep long-lasting positive relationships which helps them in their professional and personal environment.

6. Are good communicators
People with a high EQ are skilled listeners. They listen without judgment and have the intention to understand the other person’s emotions and motives.

That makes their interlocutors feel taken serious and understood.

To influence people, we have to understand their emotions and how we can transfer emotions. All of us constantly influence (or attempt to) others. The CEO who “sells” to his staff that everyone has to work overtime just like the mother who persuades her kid to be home by midnight.

Aurorasa is an empowermentalist, emotional intelligence trainer, and success coach. She helps businesses and individuals to boost their EQ and define and achieve their personal goals. Her latest projects are the digital emotional intelligence training “Project Phoenix” and “Mindfulness for Managers” a personal coaching that addresses the needs and time constraints of people with stressful jobs. She started learning about emotional intelligence in 1996 and teaches in English and German (her first language). Currently, Aurorasa lives in Chicago, Illinois.

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